TL;DR: 40k in a Non 40k World

Neither of these people are James.

James Hildebrand has written a very funny short essay about being a closeted Eldar player in high school. He's a student at Amherst, and I believe he has stopped playing, at least as of this writing. It's lighthearted and leads into a lovely overall message about doing things just for the sake of doing them. But there was something else in the article that got me thinking.
[Read On]

TL;DR: Is there coffee provided at the meeting?

This is the third in a series of posts by yours truly with the tag “TL;DR”. As you may have surmised by suffering through my blog these past few years, I write. A lot. And I am quite wordy, so when I write a blog post, I spew forth my ramblings onto the keyboard, and then I edit roughly 60-80 percent of it out. But once in a while, I will write something that cannot be edited down. 

And sometimes, it’s a tedious bit of writing that may hold some value for beginning 40k enthusiasts. So begins my tale that many of you may recognize...

The quiet buzz of people who are merely acquaintances dies down as people find their spots in the small circle of folding chairs, and few folks hustle in shaking off coats that smell of cigarettes and cold outdoor air.

The small, unassuming guy with a receding hairline and math teacher glasses approaches the worn podium, the heavy thud of his boots echoing in this Catholic school gymnasium. It's 7:30pm, and the meeting is about to start. The group is small enough that no PA system is needed, so there is no stereotypical whistle of feedback before he begins, just a gentle throat clearing. [read on...]

Interweb Fatigue

The Internet is surprisingly immature for its age, and I think that says a lot about human nature. Everyone blames 4Chan and Something Awful for lowering the floor of acceptability, but trolling and really bad arguments have been around since before the Web (anyone reading this still use Usenet?).

I haven't posted lately. It's mostly due to work; there are a lot of transitions occurring, and I'm still trying to get my footing in the New World Order. And I've had an incredible flu that is still lurking around...if it's just sheer muscle pain and fever, would it be Nurgle or Slaanesh?). But the main reason is a bit deeper-seeded: I'm getting really tired of the lazy discourse that makes up the 40k blogosphere. There is almost nothing that ends up positive. Exciting teaser rumors start a shit storm of complaints from "GW is stupid" to "The OP is an idiot". Any posted list becomes an ad hominem attack-laden tirade.

But the worst is the unsubstantiated assumptions, "facts" and faulty argument that infest the comment sections of blog posts like this:

 BoLS Article

Did you make it through the comments? I couldn't do it. Now, I want you to do me a huge favor. Take a look at this infographic.

Seriously, really read this.

Now try looking at each comment posted and see how many of these fallacies fit. Just in the first 30 or so comments, I think I hit a bunch of them (definitely all of the categories). And I don't mean to pick on BoLS; they have a job to do (generate revenue through website traffic), and like them or not, they do it better than anyone in the hobby. This lack of well-researched conclusions and strawman arguments can be found in a lot of places and not always in the comments. In a few posts that I've made both here and at MWC, I've attempted to question the actual claims about GW's practices and ethics, and they've been met with apathy, in my opinion. So my perception is that people like to argue, and the content or logic of the argument is tertiary, behind both volume and frequency.

And yes, I have been guilty of the same thing. It's easy to slide by with just about anything when everyone else seems to be deaf to all but their own voice. But I don't want to be like that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't want Stelek or Kirby or Brent or MBG or Dakka or Warseer to change anything about their tone. Being confrontational is its own flavor, I guess. But I've grown tired of it.

So instead of jumping into comment about the ridiculousness of someone claiming that GW is raising prices to "fuck over Australia" or that mathhammer always/never works, I'm going to chill out and just post my painting progress and share what I can in a hobby I love.

I hope you readers, and there's quite a few now if Google Analytics can be believed, will stick with me, but if you don't, I understand. I just appreciate the fact that you took the time to read some of my posts.

I'm going to Adepticon on Friday and Saturday. If you want to stop me and say hello, I'd certainly appreciate it. I'm the old Asian guy with a small red and black camera backpack, and it's most likely I will ask you if I can photograph your army. It's one of my favorite things to do, and I really love all of your skills and creativity.

Thanks for reading!

Terv Rage

Why don't you exist, little lady?

OK, so let's talk about something that has me in fits. It has to do with this little lady in the picture (although I'm probably assigning an unnecessary gender stereotype...think penguins and seahorses). Of all the blunders attributed to Games Workshop, this is really the only one that I cannot argue against: the tardiness of the (presumed) third wave of Tyranid models. I know I'm preaching to the converted, but if you want to ride the wave of Black Rage with me, read on...
Click to jump...

Utterly Amazing

Every once in a while, I will stumble across some tidbit on the Internet that influences my take on 40k. Sometimes, I'll find something that is compelling enough to share with the community. And then there are very rare occasions where I will repost something from the 40k community because it's just that cool.

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A MASSIVE(ly small) GIVEAWAY CONTEST!!

Well, after an ambitious false start attempting the Angels Sanguine halving scheme, I took a mental inventory and decided to reboot by utilizing a "normal" tabletop standard Blood Angel scheme and setting a realistic schedule for myself with incremental rewards.

I'd like to introduce to you my first completely painted Tactical Squad!

Click to Enlarge

I'm not going to base any of them until I am completely finished painting my Blood Angels, and I still need to apply decals or paint insignia, but the paint is completed. This first milestone has been reached only a few days behind schedule, and I've decided that the first reward should go to one of you!

The Tiny Giveaway
I have decided to give away a copy of Death Angel by Fantasy Flight Games:
Space Hulk: Death Angel - The Card Game is a cooperative card game set in the grim darkness of Warhammer 40,000. Players must work together as an alien menace threatens to devour their hopes of survival. If all Space Marines perish, the players collectively lose. Likewise, if at least one of the surviving Space Marines completes the objective, the players all win!


Interesting, huh? Well, you could win this brand new, sealed item, including shipping just by entering.

This game only costs about $20.00 US, so I'm not going to assign some crazy task to enter this contest. Here is how you enter and win:

1. Become a follower of this blog.
2. Take a picture of your best single Blood Angel (power armor or terminator) troop, elite, or devastator miniature. No vehicles, dreads, fast attack or HQs. Make sure you have a small piece of paper that has the date and "hivezero.com" written on it clearly visible in the picture.
3. Write at least a few sentences about what you like about the model and how you painted it.
4. Email your pictures and words to zeroATchemist.com.

A small panel of judges, including myself and at least one minor 40k Internet celeb will judge the pictures and declare a winner. Anything you send to us will be considered free to publish. You retain all rights to the picture unless other arrangements are made.

If I have to, I will post all the necessary legaleze, but I'm hoping that this will be a simple thing. Send me pretty pictures, and one of you will get a card game.

I look forward to your entries! Deadline: September 30th, 11:59pm Central Time.

Sisters Are Back

I have mixed feelings about the return of the Sisters. They are very different than when I started playing them years and years ago. But they have returned with a new two part mini codex in White Dwarf and their online-only line:

SoB Section on GW's Site

On one hand, more armies are always a good thing. On the other, I think these are all old models. They really need the Dark Eldar treatment, especially considering how exquisite the sculpt of Lillith is.

Will I return to my ladies? Well, it depends on the points cost per unit, which will be in the next WD, and whether I can stand this many metal models. Stay tuned.

Random Thoughts

I am sitting in a soul-crushing 8 hour meeting, and my mind is wandering to my favorite pastime, 40k. I’ve been back in the hobby for about 3 years now after a mega-hiatus. Back in the 90s, I started with WitchHunters, and now we are about to see the fourth revision of the Sisters, albeit in White Dwarf form. People who were infants when I started playing are now beating me in games (while legally drinking, for gods’ sake).

So while my cohorts are in their fifth hour of discussing “registering” vs. “signing up”. I thought I would express some of my thoughts on the hobby as a whole. (more after the jump)

re: GW's Price Hikes et al

I wrote a little post for Miniature Wargame Conversions this week about the price hike and the European trade agreement changes. It garnered a few responses, most of which were positive. Check it out and mull it over for a second in your noggin...is it REALLY worth nickel and diming your HOBBY? Can you even call it a hobby if it causes so much grief?

Open letter to barterers, craigslisters and ebayers.

Dear gamers who buy, sell, and trade online,

Hello! Good tidings to you from a relatively new miniature trading (and by trading, I mean transacting) enthusiast. I find that ability to conduct trades of like-value miniatures in a mannered, orderly way to be refreshing and invigorating, and I am constantly appreciative of this great 40k/WFB/PP/FoW community and their sense of camaraderie and fairplay.

But to others of you, I'd like to offer a bit of advice...advice that will keep you from having me stab a needle through a voodoo doll that resembles you.

First, and this is most important, IF YOU ARE HAVING PERSONAL PROBLEMS THAT MAY PREVENT YOU FROM COMPLETING A TRANSACTION, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN ADVANCE. I doubt that between Monday, when you agreed to buy my New In Box Cadians, and Wednesday, when you were supposed to send me the funds through Paypal, your wife suddenly shacked up with your college buddy and threw you out. I am stunned at the number of backouts I've had due to "the old lady" being in rehab or breaking her leg or kicking you to the curb. I thought gamers didn't know how to deal with women. Oh wait, I guess this makes sense.

Second, IF YOUR FAMILY HAS A PROPENSITY FOR DYING ON A FRIDAY AND YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE TWO WEEK LONG FUNERAL, HOW'S ABOUT SHIPPING OUT THOSE BLOODLETTERS BEFORE YOU PUT ON THE BLACK SUIT? Again, some people must have 8 or 10 grandparents on death's door, and given the amount of times they die just as a trade is about to go through, I would say stop playing miniatures games...for the sake of your fragile family.

And finally, ROOMMATES AND SECRETARIES, EVEN THE MADE UP KIND, ARE COMPLETELY INEPT WITH TRACKING NUMBERS AND POSTAGE. I've been noticing that there must be an influx of A-list celebrities on Dakka and Bartertown, since they always have their "people" mail out stuff, which inevitably gets lost, delayed, or whatever.

Please follow the Golden Rule when doing a trade. And if you can't spell or write a sentence correctly, at least respond to emails after I ship out my stuff with as much enthusiasm as when you were grinding me on shipping.

Love

Zero
PS: Anyone need bloodletters or a soul grinder?

Trading

Well, I did my first trade this week via DakkaDakka. I felt a bit of anxiety because there is absolutely no safety net if the deal goes south, not even the tiny bit of protection that Ebay provides. It's a complete leap of faith, and the audience is so relatively tiny that you cannot just deal with people who have reputable trading histories.

Anyway, to make a long story short, it went off without a hitch except for one little thing. I traded a Baneblade for a Defiler and a box of Chaos Terminators. What I didn't realize was that they were both circa 3rd edition, meaning that the Termies were metal ( noticeably smaller than the plastic Termies) and on small bases. It was completely my fault for not researching it a bit more and rereading the post, so that was the only hitch.

Consequently, I may be giving away a brand new box of terminators shortly. Stay tuned.

Beasts of War and being P.C.

I really like the Beasts of War guys. I truly do. I think they take their video making seriously, and I appreciate that. The information is often useful, and they are very detailed.

But I've been noticing an odd trend for them: they're getting a little cavalier with their mild slurs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1Z2IEs7PmY

In the above video, Darrel first says that American zombies would be overweight, and then he states that running away is what America is good at. Now, I know that there's a lot worse stuff out there, and I'm sure it was tongue in cheek (or not...it's not important). But what upsets me about it is that it's so unnecessary. Obviously, BoW is trying to grow as an entity, and professionalism is a part of that. Provoking a major part of the fan base is a poor strategy.

Again, I am not so sensitive that the implications and slurs bother me, but it concerns me only because I think when they mock Americans, it reinforces negative feelings in many categories. Totally unnecessary.

FOLLOW UP: They sort of laughed it off and blamed uptight people for having a reaction. Whatever.

Real life is almost finished (that sounds morbid)

I'm almost caught up with all of my RL responsibilities, so I will be back into painting shortly. In the meanwhile, enjoy these pics of my kids imitating various 40k icons:

Olivia as Death Guard. Note the horn/bedhead.

Olivia, Nightlord

Emily, Emperor

Hiatus

Real life has crippled my progress, but I will be back on track next week. Since I think only two people read this blog, I am mainly writing this for myself as motivation.

I posed a question on Dakka: What army should I field that has the least amount of units (regardless of monetary outlay) but is still competitive? Surprisingly, people mentioned Orks! Here was my initial question:

I'm looking to build a third army with a very specific requirement: I'm looking for a 2000-2500 point build that is competitive with the LEAST amount of physical models. Not 3 Stompas and whatever will fill the rest of the FOC; I'd like to have an army to play against that is the antithesis of a horde. 

And the answer:

Orks...

Big Mek x2
Deff Dread x2 (counts as troops)
Killa Kans x9

Plus random Trukk Boyz and a trukk for objective shenanigans.

There were several other suggestions- a Grey Knight list was one- but I was surprised by the Ork list, which I had always associated with hordes. I'll have to break out the codex and cost it out.

Lull

This week has been a bit challenging in terms of trying to find free time, but I'm doing some experimenting with gesso as a basecoat. Stay tuned.

Lost My Way

What you are seeing here is a primed genestealer gazing at a group of 5 termagants stewing in isoproyl alcohol. While this scene makes an oddly fitting metaphor for my college years, it's actually a milestone that I reached when I first got into miniatures about two decades ago.

Since this blog began, I've had less and less time to paint. I truly thought that after that first carnifex, I would be hard pressed to buy enough models to keep up with my painting. But with my job and other compulsions interests, I ended up painting in the wee hours of the morning. This led to little mistakes, poor color choices, and now, complete lack of motivation. Case in point: these 'gants. I liked the red carapace/bone skin/black hooves & blades of the carnifex, so I thought that I would continue that theme. The problem was that I was so tired that I chose red skin and a black carapace. Now, that's not a bad scheme in itself...it's very close to a GW-recognized theme. But it's also identical to this incredible work (sans green tongue and incredible painting talent).

So before I lose the last vestige of positive feeling in this hobby, I've decided to hit the reset button. The 'gants take a bath, and I gather them, the genestealers and gaunts together, and we consider our color options. I'm looking to nature for this again (it was my original plan), or I'm going to go for something a lot cooler, and I'm going to take my time to do it right. So we'll see in a little while, I guess.

 

I am now a bit overwhelmed. Too many figures, too little contiguous time.

And away we go...

So what the heck is up with this blog, eh? Some of you may be here from my Facebook page, others may be here from a Google search. At any rate, welcome to my Warhammer 40k (WH40k) blog.

If you have no idea what Warhammer 40k is, you are not going to find anything here that is remotely interesting, and much of it will be incomprehensible. Still want to know? Well, Warhammer 40,000 is, to put it simply, a science fiction war game played with miniature figures and vehicles. That's it. Well, that's not exactly it. There are several components to WH40k that make it compelling for some people...and by "some people" I mean total nerds. There's the painting of the miniatures that borders on obsessive. There's the very open ended gaming rules with dozens of factions and as much or as little minutiae as one wants to utilize. And there's the "fluff", which is the term used for the back stories and rich narrative that have no effect on game play, but are compelling nonetheless.

This is not an introductory blog for the 40k novice. It's just a place for me to post photos and ruminations regarding the details of this odd hobby.

And me? Well, I'm a 42 year old consultant living just outside of Chicago with a wife, 2 daughters, and a dog. I have a decidedly non-nerd lifestyle (for better and worse). I very briefly dabbled in WH40k in college, but real life got in the way. Now I have a bit more disposable income and fewer distractions. My main interest in WH40k lies with the models and painting, so at least at the onset, that will be the subject matter most addressed. I commute to Florida for work, so getting together face-to-face with a group of gamers is not viable at the moment.

Feel free to comment or email me. I hope you enjoy your stay.