Open letter to barterers, craigslisters and ebayers.

Dear gamers who buy, sell, and trade online,

Hello! Good tidings to you from a relatively new miniature trading (and by trading, I mean transacting) enthusiast. I find that ability to conduct trades of like-value miniatures in a mannered, orderly way to be refreshing and invigorating, and I am constantly appreciative of this great 40k/WFB/PP/FoW community and their sense of camaraderie and fairplay.

But to others of you, I'd like to offer a bit of advice...advice that will keep you from having me stab a needle through a voodoo doll that resembles you.

First, and this is most important, IF YOU ARE HAVING PERSONAL PROBLEMS THAT MAY PREVENT YOU FROM COMPLETING A TRANSACTION, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN ADVANCE. I doubt that between Monday, when you agreed to buy my New In Box Cadians, and Wednesday, when you were supposed to send me the funds through Paypal, your wife suddenly shacked up with your college buddy and threw you out. I am stunned at the number of backouts I've had due to "the old lady" being in rehab or breaking her leg or kicking you to the curb. I thought gamers didn't know how to deal with women. Oh wait, I guess this makes sense.

Second, IF YOUR FAMILY HAS A PROPENSITY FOR DYING ON A FRIDAY AND YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE TWO WEEK LONG FUNERAL, HOW'S ABOUT SHIPPING OUT THOSE BLOODLETTERS BEFORE YOU PUT ON THE BLACK SUIT? Again, some people must have 8 or 10 grandparents on death's door, and given the amount of times they die just as a trade is about to go through, I would say stop playing miniatures games...for the sake of your fragile family.

And finally, ROOMMATES AND SECRETARIES, EVEN THE MADE UP KIND, ARE COMPLETELY INEPT WITH TRACKING NUMBERS AND POSTAGE. I've been noticing that there must be an influx of A-list celebrities on Dakka and Bartertown, since they always have their "people" mail out stuff, which inevitably gets lost, delayed, or whatever.

Please follow the Golden Rule when doing a trade. And if you can't spell or write a sentence correctly, at least respond to emails after I ship out my stuff with as much enthusiasm as when you were grinding me on shipping.

Love

Zero
PS: Anyone need bloodletters or a soul grinder?